Attachment

I caught myself sitting staring at the wall today - contemplating. I read, and listen to, a lot of Alan Watts and after a while, I'm just not sure what is an original thought or a sort of self-induced brainwashing. Anyhow, I'm sitting stretching in the gym today and listening to some tunes when I realize that I'm pondering death.

I was imagining myself walking out into the parking lot, being hit by a car. The end. Done. I had this feeling with me that it would be OK. As I let that thought soak in (my thoughts are a bit more lucid now) the consequences of it 'being OK' lifted a veil on my surroundings for a moment. I'm not talking 'enlightenment' - which I'm not even sure I believe really happens for anyone, either that or maybe I just don't understand - anyhow, I had a really tangible sense of "breathe and drink in what is around you because this is it."

It seems like releasing the anxiety regarding death, that is to say accepting death as the inevitable corollary to life, allows you to lift yours eyes to see the world around you instead of being consumed with not tripping on a stone.